I get news headlines sent to my cell phone as SMS messages. Today, at about 11:30, I received the following headline: “‘Desperate Housewives’ ends first season.”

I was floored. I thought Desperate Housewives was going to be like a Soap Opera, with a new episode every time it aired, but apparently, I was wrong.

As a service to whoever decides what headlines should come to my cell phone, I’ve a few suggestions to make:

“Lunch hour ended at 1:00pm.”
“Earth continues to complete one rotation per day.”