…and why I keep playing them.

“Hell is other people,” Jean-Paul Sartre wrote in No Exit. In the world of Massively Multiplayer Online Games, I have to agree with him. The selling point of Massively Multiplayer games (the fact that there are many, many players) is also the downfall of these games, because people, for the most part, are idiots.

Players present problems in MMOGs in three ways:

1. There are way too many people who take themselves and the game way too seriously. Honestly, it’s a game. If you never take any risks, but instead play every single fight exactly the same way, with the same people playing exactly the same roles, things get very boring very quickly. Yes, you’ll get levels faster by playing the formula, but your brain will turn to mush and leak out your ears.

   Really.

2. The second major problem with MMOGs is the overwhelming presence of the psychopaths. These people have no functional concept of a fair fight, but are instead intent on annoying people in whatever ways they can. These people can be seen running from any fight where they both (a) don’t outnumber their opponents by at least three-to-one and (b) aren’t at least fifteen levels above their opponents. Ideally, these people also play a class that allows them to cheat, such as the World of Warcraft “Paladin” class, which has an (undispellable!) ability that makes them completely immune to any attack. Based on my observations, this ability lasts approximately 10 seconds, requires minimal cast time and mana, and has a cooldown time of approximately 10.1 seconds.

   If you’ve ever played World of Warcraft, you can usually identify psychopaths by their membership in the Alliance.

3. The third group of players that ruin Massively Multiplayer gaming is also the most prevalent. These are the true idiots, the people who couldn’t find the shift key on their keyboard if their lives depended on it, and who believe that the pronoun referring to one’s listener is spelled “u”. While these people are only a minor annoyance when taken individually, the fact that they apparently multiply like Tribbles and participate in these activities outside of the game world makes them the worst of the bunch.

   Honestly, gaming is supposed to be an escape from idiots, and the Massively Multiplayer gaming phenomenon (and, indeed, internet gaming as a whole, not just MMOGs) is quickly making me realize that there is no escape.

So, why do I keep participating in online gaming? Pretty much for the same reason I’ve always enjoyed multiplayer video games that weren’t on the internet. With the right group of friends, it’s an extremely rewarding experience. Since my friends and I are now scattered a bit farther than we’ve been in the past, internet gaming provides the best venue for us to get together and have some fun.

My idea of an ideal online game would be an RPG that allows me to group together with a few friends and have very little interference from other players. Since that doesn’t seem to be appearing anytime soon, we’ll just have to continue to make do playing City of Heroes.