One of the blogs I read semi-regularly is Waiter Rant. Earlier this week, the Waiter posted that he got a raise.

You know, it’s always nice to be bringing home a little bit more money. A raise that comes because your hard work is recognized is nice, but the best thing ever is when you get a raise because the minimum wage raises because the government (or even better, the union) has forced your employer to pay everyone a bit more, even that slacker who just sits in the corner and scratches himself eight hours a day. The best part is that it always seems to come just in time, because prices everywhere seem to climb just a bit. I think the government must have some really brilliant economists out there to predict exactly the right time for these minimum wage hikes.

The comments on that post are interesting. This bit, from a commenter calling herself “The Waitress”, though, was probably the best one I saw:

I think that sucks! It seems to me that the state is shifting the burden of paying a living wage for its citizens onto the consumer via tips – which seems grossly unfair.

I have to agree. How dare the government (not the business, mind — God knows they aren’t allowed to offer more than the minimum wage — the government) force the customers to pay for the wages of the workers? It’s an outrage! I wouldn’t stand for it.

That’s why I only shop at those big stores where they give you everything at cost because they don’t believe the customer should pay for any of their worker’s salaries. Also, I refuse to go to any mechanics but those who work on your car for a week and only charge you for the parts they had to buy. The dealership where I bought my car didn’t give any of my money (or the money of any other customers) to the salesman, the financing guy, the woman manning the information desk, or any of the employees at the factory. Since the only thing I paid for was the materials, I got the car dirt cheap. Those of you who don’t shop in these sorts of establishments should be ashamed of yourselves, supporting a system where customers have to pay the living wage of the employees.

The Gazz, the weblog of the Charleston Gazette (or the Charleston Newspapers; I guess it’s as much a blog for the Daily Mail as the Gazette), a rant on the legality of smoking:

On the one hand, I’ve got slight libertarian leanings, and feel that anyone should be allowed to kill themselves by ingesting poison, if that’s what they really want to do. On the other, I feel my right to breath supersedes their right to smoke. I have severe allergies to tobacco, and if I have to breathe too much of the stuff, it makes me very sick. Unlike smokers, I do not choose to be very sick.

I’ve said for a while now that it makes no sense to ban smoking in restaurants and businesses, which are essentially private. I have a choice of whether or not to walk into a restaurant that allows smoking, and I have a choice whether I do business with (or work in) an office building that allows for smoking. Banning businesses from allowing that choice forces smokers outdoors, onto public sidewalks, which are public property. There are a couple of buildings in Charleston that I pass if I walk to get lunch where there’s a constant cloud of cigarette smoke just outside the doors. I much prefer encouraging people to poison a nice enclosed area instead of coming outside and polluting the sidewalks. That’s just me, though.

Tick Tock begins on a serious, if odd, note. Tommy Phan has just signed a contract with a publisher for his detective novels, and celebrates by buying himself a brand-new Corvette. After he arrives at home, he responds to a knock at the door, where he finds nothing but an odd rag doll on the doorstep with a note written in Vietnamese. The doll comes to life and attempts to kill him. Now, Tommy finds himself on the run trying to survive until the doll “deadline”.

No description of this book could possibly do it justice. After Intensity, Koontz felt that he needed something a bit lighter, and he wrote this straight-to-paperback novel that, in my opinion, is one of his best works to date. The novel starts out with Koontz’s easily recognizable style telling a fairly straight horror story, but quickly shifts gears from a horror to a wonderful screwball comedy without flying off track too badly.

Del Payne and Mother Phan both play perfectly off of Tommy’s “straight man” character, and the scenes near the end of the book when the two women interact had me rolling with laughter. There are a few scenes here and there (usually centering around the dog) that were more “miss” than “hit”, but since the rest of the book was so wonderful, I happily overlook those.

I’ve seen some horrid reviews of this book, and the only conclusion I can come to is that some people are humor-handicapped and don’t know how to recognize funny unless it comes equipped with a laugh track. I understand that the screwball comedy doesn’t quite hit everyone’s funny bones, but it’s unfair to judge this book as though it’s a straight horror when that’s obviously not what the author intended, given that his afterword gives the formula for a good screwball comedy, even going so far as to cite Bringing Up Baby and What’s Up, Doc (both of which I looked up and loved after reading this novel; Baby is, in fact, now one of my favorite movies of all time).

Even though it’s not quite his normal style, Koontz’s Tick Tock is well worth a look, especially if you’ve got a taste for both screwball comedies and horror movies.

Capitalism, it is said, is a system wherein man exploits man. And communism — is vice versa.

- Daniel Bell