You may have heard by now that Fox News has cancelled The Half Hour News Hour, which was, as I understand it, supposed to be their answer to The Daily Show. Now, I didn’t watch The Half Hour News Hour, but that is in part because nothing I saw made me think it would actually be amusing in the least, and not a single review I read after the fact made me regret that decision.

I suspect that you’ll hear people say that the problem with this show is that conservatives aren’t funny. Honestly, I don’t think that’s it. I could easily point out a half dozen very funny bloggers (Steve H., at Hog on Ice, for example) who are also conservative.

I will readily admit that I’m not funny. Well, I amuse myself, but that’s hardly the same thing at all. Still, I find it hard to believe that Fox News couldn’t find a few writers to make this show at least a little bit funny. Really, if you want an amusing conservative news show, here’s what you do: you report the facts.

For example, the New York Times reports that Republicans in the Senate narrowly rejected an effort to force a cloture vote intended to force debate. Once again: The New York Times, which anyone (who is liberal) will tell you is an unbiased news source, reports that Republicans in the Senate to reject a cloture vote intended to force debate. By definition, a cloture vote is designed to close a debate and cause an immediate vote.

So, you have your news anchor, who has to be able to deliver this perfectly, explaining that the New York Times has reported the cloture vote, its rejection by Republicans, and the fact that rejecting the cloture means that Republicans are stifling debate. Meanwhile, down at the bottom of the screen, you have the following pop up: “Clo•ture [kloh-cher]: a method of closing a debate and causing an immediate vote to be taken on the question.”

Report on Democratic Senator Carl Levin, who appeared on Fox News Sunday, where he said that if they couldn’t repeal the 2002 authorization to go to war, Democrats can come up with a bipartisan approach, such as a modification of the 2002 authorization that allows the use of troops in Iraq, but only as long as they’re not carrying out any combat missions. That reminds me of a sitcom commercial where a man says that he wanted to get a dog, and his wife wanted a cat, so they compromised… and got a cat.

Have an interview with a representative from a “pro-choice” group, and interview them until they say what they really believe: that choice should only be permitted when the people trying to force their will on women are on the right — if it’s a liberal telling you what to do, you should just roll over and obey, because they know what’s right for you.

I mean, come on — liberals say stupid, self-contradictory things every single day*. Yes, actually going out and hiring good comic writers would push the show from slightly amusing to laugh-out-loud hilarious, but you can get mildly amusing just by finding an anchor with good delivery who will report what liberals say as though it’s actually sensible. Then you slap a “satire” label on it, and there you go.

* To be fair, conservatives say stupid, self-contradictory things, too, and you can’t tell me that comedians on the left side of the political spectrum don’t take advantage of that fact.