I just picked up Call of Duty: World At War today. I know it’s been out a while, I don’t really care that much for the Call of Duty games. I prefer my first person shooters to be a little less… real. Finally, though, two things convinced me. First, it was on sale for $30. Second, they’ve added zombies.

So, I don’t really have a lot to add to this takedown of a student group protesting the “animal cruelty” in the game:

See, running down the street shooting dogs willy-nilly is bad. You don’t pump them full of bullets for rolling over and wagging their tails. You give them hugs, and call them Mr. Snugglewuffkins, despite what their actual names might be. I think we can all get behind this idea.

Dogs trained to tear out your throat, on the other hand, you shoot. You shoot them quickly, and should they roll over on their backs and wag their little stumpy tails, you shoot them more, because that’s a trap. They don’t want belly rubs; they want to taste your innards.

Call me a monster or an extremist, but I think it’s perfectly fine to teach our children to defend themselves from wild animals that want to eat them.