But Does It Have To Be?

“It is what it is.” One of my wife’s friends loves to repeat that, but, to be honest with you, I am not at all sure what she means when she says it. I think it’s something similar to the guy from Trent’s post, “That’s Just The Way It Is“:

Two weeks ago, I was hanging out with a large group of people when one of them made the comment, “Well, you know how it goes… the money comes in, the money goes out … and maybe a little bit more!” This comment was met with laughs by several people.

I just kind of half-smiled, looked down at my drink, and said, “Well, that’s one way to live, I guess.”

The other person turned to me and said, “What do you mean? That’s just the way it is.“

Obviously, Trent doesn’t think that’s just the way it is, and I tend to feel the same way. More accurately, I suppose, that might be the way it is, but it’s not the way that it has to be.

“That’s just the way it is” or “it is what it is” can mean “this is the situation I’m in right now, and I have to move forward from here.” It can be an acknowledgement of reality and nothing more. Unfortunately, the guy in Trent’s story is obviously using it as an excuse to do nothing to change the situation he’s in, even as he complains about it (admittedly in a joking manner).

I’ve been there. So has Trent, for that matter (His “Road to Financial Armageddon” posts are worth the read). I think his immediate response (“Well, that’s one way to live, I guess”) came across as a less-than-constructive criticism, which seems to have put the other man on the defensive. There were probably more constructive ways of phrasing Trent’s comment.

On the other hand, that doesn’t make it any less true. For years, I paid my bills (mostly) on time, and didn’t (actively) accrue new debt. I thought I was being reasonably responsible, but I spent everything I made, had no money left over at the end of the pay period, and I was miserable. I honestly thought I had no choice but to live that way. That’s just the way it was. I didn’t have enough money to “fix” these things.

Of course, that wasn’t true, but it was easier to pretend it was and not do anything than to accept that I could change things with a simple^[a] application of self-control.

In this particular situation, with a large group of people and an individual who probably didn’t know Trent that well^[b], there probably wasn’t a tactful way to say what I imagine Trent really wanted to say, that it doesn’t have to be the way it is.

I have to wonder, though, in a smaller group with closer friends, if it wouldn’t have been possible for Trent to take this as an opportunity to gently share his philosophy about money. Not to brag about his situation vs. that of his friends, but to suggest that maybe there was a way for them to get into a situation more like his and less like that of the speaker in this post.

1. It really was simple: “Just don’t buy as much.” It just wasn’t easy. [↩]
2. I’m just guessing here, but while I don’t imagine Trent to be one who constantly brags about his financial situation, I also can’t imagine he doesn’t let his frugality be seen to those who know him [↩]

Eric over at Classical Values links a video of a Volvo “Clunker” being destroyed (There are links ot additional videos in the comments), then describes his response:

Sadness (yes, I’m not alone there), because even though I’ve never been a Volvo driver (I can remember howling with laughter when I saw George Carlin ridicule them as “safe cars”), this was obviously a perfectly good car. A lot of technology and human effort (to say nothing of raw materials) went into it, and someone could have used it.

…

I see the destruction of that engine as symbolizing pure, naked, raw, disgusting abuse of power.

I realize it will sound harsh, but I think that car was more useful than the useless bureaucrats who ordered its destruction.

I have a tendency to anthropomorphize automobiles to what is probably an extreme extent^[a]. I treat my cars almost like pets a lot of the time, and both times I’ve taken a car to be traded in a dealer lot, I’ve been hit with a huge sense of guilt. These were both vehicles that had served me well (even loyally, to my anthropomorphizing mind), and I just took them to the dealer and abandoned them. The emotion was very similar to what I suspect I’d feel if I had to take a beloved family pet to a shelter because I simply couldn’t keep him anymore.

I won’t even discuss my reaction to seeing^[b] the remains of the minivan that I totaled after hitting a patch of ice.

In addition to all of this, I understand and share Eric’s reaction to the pure wastefulness involved in this program (ostensibly being supported by environmentalists, who’re supposed to be interested in conservation, for goodness sake!). Plus, while I’m not a “car guy”, I do have a fondness for older cars, and envy those who have the ability, patience, time and money to take an older car and restore (or remake) it. The idea that potential project cars^[c] are simply being unmade is abhorrent to me.

1. Oddly, I never named a car until I met my wife, but that didn’t stop me from immediately adopting the names she gave both of our cars. [↩]
2. Seeing on a regular basis, even, since it sat at the bottom of our driveway for a while before the truck came to haul it away as junk [↩]
3. Most of which are, as evidenced by the fact that they were driven to the dealerships, perfectly serviceable even without being restored [↩]

Citation Needed! Children might get a better education from Wikipedia…

Apparently, society has forgotten all of 20th century history, but Ms. Claymore has forgotten all of her 21st century history. There was, in fact, a huge outcry about domestic spying (which was not on everyone, but that’s the common leftist meme). There was also a huge outcry about the Abu Ghraib scandal, in which much of the (left half of the) country conveniently forgot that CBS didn’t break a huge scoop – they simply revealed details of mistreatment that the Pentagon had already discovered, investigated, and punished. It was news because we didn’t approve of it, which is a far cry different from the “tiger cages” she references.

This article made me think of something from 2004, when my youngest sister was still in high school. She’d tell me about things that her history teacher had said. When he’d get off topic and start giving rants about current events. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the substance of those rants in detail^[c], but I can remember trying to give her counter examples to most of his “facts” and being disturbed by the fact that most of his students didn’t have anyone to point out his lies errors. The fact that Ms. Claymore here is also actively teaching sends chills down my spine.

I don’t honestly mind the fact that she has political views that run counter to my own, but the fact that she can’t express those views without name calling (I can’t say I’m above that here, but I’m not doing this professionally, nor am I educating children) or with facts makes me worry about the sort of education her students are getting.

1. MSNBC, of course, couldn’t possibly have chosen this woman in order to give the right a bad name. Just because they get tingles up their legs when listening to Obama doesn’t mean they’re not biased. Only Fox is biased! [↩]
2. The actual quote is, by the way, inaccurate, unless the woman really was talking about herself in the third person. Maybe the title of this piece should’ve been “Don’t Know English.” [↩]
3. From what I do remember, his rants included such things as berating the students because President Bush had won the Channel One mock poll (“We’re just lucky that high school students can’t vote”) and then attacking their parents when Bush won the general election (“If your parents voted for Bush, they’re idiots.”). [↩]

I’ve had a few health issues lately (the annoying variety, not the worrying type), including a lot of heartburn and indigestion. It had gotten to the point where I’d decided to go to the doctor when something caused me to read about the long term effects of caffeine consumption.

I like to drink. I don’t mean that in the sense that some people might mean that sentence – I don’t drink alcohol at all – but in the sense that I will put away any beverage I’m drinking very quickly. So, when I drink Mountain Dew, I go through a case in no time at all. Add to that my morning coffee at work, and I take in a lot of caffeine.

So, I decided that, before I called the doctor, I’d cut back on the caffeine. I allow myself either a can of Mountain Dew or a half-cup of coffee in the morning when I first get to work, and that’s it. I initially had decided to cut out the caffeine completely, but the side effects of caffeine withdrawal were a little tougher than me.

At first, even the cutting back was hard. There’s a cube of Mountain Dew sitting in the kitchen, and a couple of cold cans in the refrigerator, and I had some problems forcing myself to go for the water rather than just grabbing a can of soda. It’s gotten easier (see my last post), and I’ve already noticed some significant results. I’ve had no heartburn at all for several days, and it’s much easier to get to sleep. Unfortunately, I’ve been noticing a mild caffeine headache between waking up and getting to work (and waking up is more onerous than it was a week ago).

In a couple of weeks, when my body’s gotten used to this level of caffeine intake, I’m going to try cutting back further. Hopefully, before long, I’ll be completely off the caffeine. My stomach will be happier, and, considering the highway robbery prices that a case of soda sells for now, so will my wallet.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It?

I know I’ve not posted anything lately, despite my promise to do better. I kept writing things that turned out to sound a lot more hostile than I wanted, so I kept ditching the posts I had queued up. Anyway, I think I have a few for the next few days that’ll be better. We’ll see.

First, a question (and answer) from Dave Ramsey’s MyTotalMoneyMakeover.com, about will power and behavior:

QUESTION: A Twitter follower wants to know what techniques Dave uses to delay getting what he wants.

In his response (I recommend listening to the response; I always prefer Dave’s actual words over the summaries on that site), Dave points out that we have to intellectually know why we’re denying ourselves our immediate wants, and he acknowledges that it’s hard. He also points out that as we exercise that willpower, it does get somewhat easier to keep at it.

It’s kind of funny. This is something I have several examples of first-hand experience with, and I keep forgetting it myself. Discipline is hard, but it gets easier if you exercise it. Unfortunately, it gets hard again a lot faster than it gets easier.